Things I Wish I Had Known as a Teenager and Apparently Still Need to Know Now
1. When you hear your parents say all that stuff like, “How am I so old? I can’t believe how fast life is passing me by,” don’t tell them how sick you are of them saying that and that they just need to get over it. Before you know it, you’ll be on your way to 30 and saying the exact same thing. “How the hell did I get here? When did I have to start worrying about money? When did I stop making time for my friends? Since when did it matter if I’ve consumed McDonalds three times this week already?” It will happen.
2. Driving along in your car with Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” blasting out of your speakers while your mascara runs a marathon down your cheeks will make him realise that he belongs with you. FALSE. It’ll be 2 years later and you’ll still be pining for the same guy while he struts around showing off his little miss size zero. Do me a favour and move on RIGHT NOW.
3. Don’t watch the Office and develop an unhealthy yearning for a ‘Jim and Pam’ love story. They are pretty much the modern day Romeo and Juliet (except with a happy ending), but remember their love story is also fictional and therefore in reality, extremely rare.
4. Don’t let sleazy, greasy guys anywhere near you when you go out dancing with your girls. You may think you’re there to find a guy or boost your self-esteem, but it’s much better if you just go with the intention of dancing to your favourite songs and having a good time with your wing-women. So don’t let slimy, suss guys in clubs even brush past you. Unless they’re buff, gorgeous football players
. But maybe not even then.
5. Develop healthy sleeping patterns while you’re young and can stay awake all day without craving a nanna nap! At the time it seems perfectly natural to stay up until the early hours of the morning, catching up on TV shows, watching movies with friends or refusing to leave hang outs in case you miss a moment
with your crush. It’s more than likely that you can sleep in every morning to make up for that neglected slumber— but one day, you can’t. You have to be an adult and get up at a responsible hour to go to work. If you’re still getting your nocturnal on when you know you have to wake up with the sun, you’re going to be in for very long, tired days. Do yourself a favour now and start going to bed at a reasonable time making it much easier to do so later on.