l o v e . l i v e . t r a v e l. e a t. p r a i s e.
It has been quite a while since my last post. This is fitting, because this post features some of the pressures of reality, which is inclusive to life sometimes not giving us enough time or energy to actually do the things we want to do. After returning from my trip in May, I had an extremely busy few months, and I was tired for quite a long time after I returned home. Tired from my trip, but also tired from trying to fit back into a place where I felt like I no longer belonged.
It usually does take some time to settle back into reality after you’ve returned from a holiday. For me it always takes a while, especially if I’ve been on a long trip overseas to a variety of places and cultures. However this time, with moving house almost as soon as I stepped off the plane, it took a little longer to adjust than I had imagined. Reality hit me harder than it ever had before, and trying to assimilate myself back into the daily grind started to prove nearly impossible. I struggled to pull my mind away from the memories of the people and places I encountered on my latest trip around the world.
When travelling, there are usually moments spent thinking of home and wishing for your own bed—but I didn’t experience this at all this time. I decided I could keep doing this forever, I could just keep going and going. I started to plan how I would do this and what would happen if I just didn’t go home. Of course this wasn’t actually possible for me when I had responsibilities to come home to. And also, you know, that little old thing called money is always a bit of a factor.
So I came home. I hadn’t even had a chance to unpack before I was packing up everything I owned and prepared to move from a house I loved to a place I hadn’t yet seen. I hated everything and I hated being home, constantly wishing to be back somewhere, anywhere; to have the lights of Times Square lighting up my face; to feel the snow falling in Finland; to be worrying about train strikes in Germany; to be waving goodbye to people I didn’t even know from the deck of a ship leaving port. Then I realised this. That wasn’t my reality, and I can’t live in all of those places at once. If it were my reality, I would be wishing for something else anyway, and if it were my reality, it wouldn’t be such a special and exhilarating break from life, because it would just be life.
No matter where we are in the world, or in our lives, there are highs and lows and we just have to figure out how to get through when we come off the high. I don’t have the answers, I’m still trying to figure it all out. However, thinking about home with a sense of gratitude is a great place to start. To wake up and be able to say. “I am thankful I have a place I can call home and return to when I can’t be on the move”, is a lot better than waking up and wishing to be anywhere but where you are. So each day I try and face everything I have to face with a sense of humility and gratitude for where I have been placed and the tasks I have been entrusted to complete. It also helps to know know I have so many future adventures and plans to look forward to that have not even crossed my mind yet!